____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
