ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize