Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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