bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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