True but thats because hes a fetus.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
