In the future we'll all be gay
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
