I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
