drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
