the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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