I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
