hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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