The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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