i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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