Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
