No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize