i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
