I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
