i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize