never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
