Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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