I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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