PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
