Sponge bath it is.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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