I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
