Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
