It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
