omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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