hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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