Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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