I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
