my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
