If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
