Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
