You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
