I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
