He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
