Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
