It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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