Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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