i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
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Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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