I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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