I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
