I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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