Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
