Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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