but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
