I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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