I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
