Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
