I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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