I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
