I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
