u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
