I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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