yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
