i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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