Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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