Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
