She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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