this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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