I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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