my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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